It is unfortunate when siblings are estranged as Jacob and Esau were in Parashat Vayishlach. Often lives are reflected in the stories of our ancestors. May our encounters be positive….
מצער מאוד כאשר אחים או אחיות מנוכרים.ות כמו יעקב ועשו בפרשת יישלח. לעתים חיינו מקבילים לסיפורים של אבותינו ואמהותינו. הלוואי שכל המפגשים יהיו חיוביים
Gail,
I just watched your midrash on this parsha. As a result of your words and the visual representation, I found some comfort and strength in dealing with a current family situation. My mother, age 98, recently broke a hip and is struggling through physical therapy to regain some of her previous functioning. She lives across the hall from us, so I am back and forth seemingly hundreds of times each day, managing and participating in her physical care, and providing her with acceptance as she opens her heart to me. My three brothers have been flying in for a few days at a time to “help”. I am trying to focus on gratitude for their visits, rather than allow myself to lapse into resentment that they cannot do more.
My youngest brother recently moved to Portugal, having reached a point of “I can’t take it anymore” in violent, corrupt, petty American society. He and I had always been very close, went through some volatile conflicts, and are now estranged, by his choice. During the past four days, as he was here with my mother, we found a way to not set each other off, and concentrate on how to best support our mother, keep her comfortable, and maintain her dignity. Instead of the dramatic reconciliation that I thought that I had sought with him, we had this cautious dance of common purpose. He even offered to come back here in January to be with her for a few days around my birthday, so “I could go on vacation”. Instead of rising to the provocation by reminding him that my involvement with her includes round the clock personal hygiene care and frequent medical consultation, I graciously accepted his offer. It won’t happen, of course, that I will leave on vacation, but I allowed myself to be grateful for that moment of compassion from him.
Your midrash spoke to my heart today. Thank you for your teaching and the fullness of your presence in this video. shabbat shalom, Gila
Thank you, Rabba Gail, for sharing your thoughts and feelings about the age-old issue of sibling relations.